Loss of Time

Proving A Point

Years are sneaky

they slip on by

in the crisis of life

in the wink of an eye

within all the strife

there goes your last sigh


Long time no write… I’m working six days a week and any spare time I do get my brain is that of a zombie! I hope you enjoyed this…

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Word of the Day: #4-Destruction

Destruction

My hips start to sway in rhythm to the angry tempo of my stomping boots. I tread a trail of anger and frustration. The beat of hate is when the sound of broken dishes or the scene of thrown eggs almost seems satisfying. This is the path of a scorned women. This is what comes before the tears. You feel like screaming at the top of your lungs, but instead lift a glass of destruction to your lips.

Who doesn’t feel destructive sometimes? The important part is to find reason before acting! I find writing and drawing very helpful when I feel this way. What about you? If you have anything to share feel free to comment?

Word of the Day: #3-Lonlieness

Lonlieness

Loneliness is a reoccurring shiver that I can’t shake no matter how warm the room is. I find myself turning on noise where ever I go to drown out the rolling thunder inside my mind. The idea that the following days to come are going to be as lonely as the days before destroys me. Memories plague me to the point of exhaustion. Walking home with just the street lights and seeing only one shadow is the sting of reality.

I just want to say I’m not lonely all the time, but when I moved out on my own I had no idea how badly I would struggle with loneliness from time to time. Some people just aren’t meant to live alone. I really don’t think anyone is, but some do manage it.

Word of the day: #1-Happiness

HappinessWhen I’m happy the meanest attitude slaps against a brick wall and falls to the floor. My smile doesn’t stop upon rose lips, but rises to glimmering eyes. My mornings are blooming flowers because it’s just the beginning of a beautiful day to come. Random humming fills the office even though I can’t carry a tune and a wild energy bubbles inside me which feels like sun rays breaking through a dirty window.

I like to think of happiness as an antidote to the horrible diseases of sadness, anger, loneliness, etc. The cool thing about this antidote is it’s easy to share with others. What are your symptoms of happiness?

Dealing With Loss….

Mother's poemMy mother’s warm house is now empty.

Her laugh, her laugh no longer rings throughout

my life, but I take comfort in the stars

A blanket of stars never meant so much,

but now they stand for all the times

giggles bounced off my bedroom walls, as

my squirming body was tucked in by 

by warn tired hands; my mother’s hands

Billions, no trillions of stars to

guide me, to show me the way

in dark uncertain times just as

my mother’s words have guided

me countless times before

Lastly, she had a smile that

brightened my life and I find

this too in the stars.

I look to the know blurry galaxy

and whisper, “Goodnight,

I love you mom.”

My co-worker lost her mother and “I’m sorry for your loss” didn’t seem like enough. Mother’s are so special and I can’t even imagine losing mine, so I made a poem for her. The poem is about finding comfort in the stars because they bring familiarity and remembrance of a mothers irreplaceable wonderful qualities. If you’ve lost your mother I hope you can also find her in some way.

Waiting on a letter…

The picture is by Nikita Gill and this my take on the weekly picture it and write found on Ermilia’s blog.

Nikita Gill

When will the winds change? It’s been so long since I’ve received a letter back. I began to light my candle lanterns and send them across one at a time. I’m afraid to sleep and miss the south winds. What if I’ve missed the letters you’ve sent?

The other day my hair stopped flying in my face and began to whip backwards. I had dropped everything and scared ma half to death racing out of the garden. She was yelling for me to come back, for there was still planting to be done, but I was flying towards the river. It had been too long. 37 days to be exact. I had stood there till the sun set and later that night cried silent tears.

Nobody swims. To swim is forbidden unless you had a death wish. I don’t know how long the people have been separated by this undrinkable water that burns the skin and I worry about what would happen without the rain. I once heard it was the people who lived here long ago that ruined the water. I’ve often thought about taking a boat, but with all the wars you couldn’t just sail to another’s land. What if something has happened to him? What if he’s finally moved on? I hate my blasted skin color. If I was his people’s color then I might have been able to blend in.

I was sitting there hugging my knees to my chest when the wind changed. A small flickering light began to grow and a sob escaped my mouth. I quickly covered my mouth and almost died waiting for it to reach me. If the wind changed I would throw myself in the water. It reached me and I held a candle to the words.

My dearest love,
I’ve waited 37 days. I told you in my last letter we couldn’t do this anymore and that you needed to move on with your life. I threw myself into work. I cried shamefully when I wrote that letter because I didn’t want it to end. I wanted to selfishly keep you to myself, but this isn’t away to live. I’ve decided to make it my goal to end this war. If not for the fact that we as a people would grow into something better working side by side, but for true love. I’m sorry my love for putting you through this.
Love, Henry

I never received the letter he was talking about and I’m glad I didn’t. The pact was eventually made. We were old and didn’t have many years left, but it didn’t matter.